Between working 2 jobs and pulling 18 credits this semester I have let myself go...into something that I hate. Everytime I get busy or comfortable in a routine I gain all this weight and dont know what to do with myself. I stopped everything, stopped getting my hair done, doing my nails, tanning, buying clothes. I just started eating and staying in and not doing anything with myself except going to work and class. I think most of it has come from the fact that I am emgaged to be married to someone who I have been with for 4 years in Janurary. I know he loves me no matter how big or how small, how ugly or how ever pretty I am. Thats not ok for me. I need that constant will to lose weight, when I was single I was always losing weight, I had people to impress...not anymore. I have impressed him and now he is marrying me. I need to get skinny..Ill be twenty one in 3 weeks....Going to Florida in about 5 weeks...Getting married in 11 months...Like..I have no time to lose weight. I DONT wanna weigh myself...but I am going to start..that is something that moves me to lose weight...it sucks the 1st time seeing how huge you have gotten...but I need to get into my old routines..throwing up everything...popping diet pills...water....water...water...gym....water...I need to make a statement even if my bulimia is here...its always here...I always still throw up at least once a day..but I have gotten lazy and sloppy and let myself slip...its time.. I'll weigh tonight...and set goals tomorrow...I can do this...I've done it hundreds of times before...I can do this... . . . : : : S t a t s : : : . . . B - N o t h i n g < 0 C a l o r i e s > L - B i n g e / / / P u r g e S - Lean Cuisne < 230 C a l o r i e s > Diet Sierra Mist < 0 C a l o r i e s > D - 2 Slimquick Pilss < 0 C a l o r i e s > Water < 0 C a l o r i e s > T o t a l I n t a k e : : : : : : 230 + <B i n g e / P u r g e> 
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